Confession

Romans 7:19

For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing.

I started this blog under the title koinonia, which is Greek for fellowship, because I earnestly desired Christian fellowship. I was moving to Gainesville and away from my strong Christian friends and family back home. This blog quickly became a place where I could hash out ideas for sermons and lessons that God was teaching me it was great and encouraging, but I neglected an important part of Christian fellowship, accountability. In James the Bible tells us to confess our sins before another so that we pray for each other and be healed (5:17), and I intend to confess before you so that I may take the opportunity to boast in the cross and in my weakness.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

Obviously I haven't written much at all this semester, and it's not because God hasn't been revealing Himself to me. Honestly I'm quite surprised to see the amazing work God is doing in my life when I seem to be doing nothing. To put it plainly for the majority of this semester and this year I have felt overburdened and whenever this happens me the result is not to work harder, but to be apathetic. Consequently I have been more of a hearer of the word and less of a doer.  So instead of writing blogs about what God was teaching me and being an active partaker in God's kingdom I resided for the most part to keeping to myself and withdrawing from fellowship. 

Through all of this God has taught much more then I could ever hope to explain. Just the reality of experiencing what Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:13 that when "we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself" (ESV) is beyond words. God is faithful and he will do what he has promised. He will complete the good work he started (Phil. 1:6). Through this period of trials the Lord has amazed by His love and continuing to bless me in ways I couldn't imagine. For example just last Sunday I was offered an internship at a church I don't regularly attend with a pastor that I have only met several times. God's love is faithful, patient, steadfast, and constant. And we are called to be the light shining God's love to the world. 

We cannot possibly do this on our own. We don't have the capability to love like Christ. I have been learning through this  difficult season that God afflicts us to remind us that we are weak and that He is strong. In 2 Corinthians chapter 12 Paul talks about God afflicted him with a thorn to keep him from becoming conceited. I needed a lesson in humility as I'm sure we all do. I don't understand what it means to make myself nothing like Christ did to glorify the Father. I need to be reminded again and again of my weakness and frailty. That I cannot do this on my own, because when I forget I do nothing.

Our God is the God who declares "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" (Isaiah 55:8 ESV). We are not like Him, we need Him, and that's the beauty of the cross. We couldn't justify ourselves, but God sent His only Son while we were still sinners to die for us. We need Him. We need reminders. We need affliction and whatever it takes to get our minds off of this transient world, off of ourselves, and to remind us to set our minds on the eternal Father who is in heaven. 

I'm writing this to remind us that we are weak, to ask for prayer, to remind us to pray for others, but most importantly to highlight that our God is glorious. He is worthy of all praise and He meets our every need. Let us learn as a community through fellowship what it really means to die to self and to seek first the heavenly kingdom relying on the Father's promises for security and boldness. Let us learn to be more open about our struggles so that we may lift each other up in prayer and encourage and comfort one another through the Word of God. God is a provider and He has given us all things let us praise Him and thank Him for His steadfast love.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.